school free month.

For some reason I've lately become annoyed with how whenever people ask how I am or what I've been up to, all I ever talk about is school and work. Mostly school. And assignments. And how busy I am... I give almost a run-through of everything I have to do like it's so much different, worse, harder, or busier than what everyone else has to do. It's not. And it's starting to bore me. I know it makes sense to talk about what you spend most of your time doing, but I really hope I do more, or see more, or experience more than just school and work while I'm here. And I'm tired of all my conversations being the same. So for the month of April I am going to try to not blog (or email) about school or work (at least not schedule-wise, but mostly just in general) and see what else there is to write about. And as for conversations, maybe you all could slap me in the face if I speak about how busy and stressful my schedule is. :) That oughta teach me!

idk

Often when people find out I speak Spanish, one of the first things they say or ask has to do with Spanish swear words. Are they really that much more interesting or bad-ass than English swears? Whats the deal?

I came back from spring break to a nicely warming up Sioux Center. I love spring. Trees budding, birds singing, squirrels scampering, people actually hanging out outside instead of retreating to the indoors all the time, and there's always an extra "bounce" in the air around spring. People seem happier. Then yesterday we had some rain and the rain turned into the wettest snow I've ever seen in my life! I stood out in it for a few minutes with Laura to make snow balls and romp around, but my shoes got soaked and my coat was getting wet too, so I went back indoors. Probably (hopefully) by tomorrow it will all be gone again and back to spring? I'm through with winter. But then, who isn't?

La Fiesta is closing this weekend.

uh oh.

Last night I was hanging out in the Bean. Hanging out. No homework. Or so I thought.
Today I get an email about a zoology lab study session. "Study session? Whatever for?" I ask myself. So I write back and ask. Turns out Mahaffy sent an email yesterday or the day before maybe about a lab quiz we are having tomorrow. I never got the email! So there I was wasting my time last night when I could/should have been studying for the lab quiz!!! *GASP*

mmmmmilk

I figured out how to change the blog the way I want. :) hooray.
Anyway, all in all, break was great. My companions were fun; good sports. I felt like I could relax, be myself, and enjoy time. I got back to Dordt around 6.15 yesterday morning, went straight to bed, and woke up around 1pm. :) I was the first home and had the whole afternoon to myself! In the evening I got some groceries shopped - HyVee now sells milk from Nebraska in glass bottles. You can return the bottles when you buy your next half gallon and get a bit of a refund. So though it costs over a dollar more, I feel like its at least creating less garbage. And really, I don't drink that much milk, so whats one more dollar? Anyway, I got my math homework done last night and went to Tofhers with some greatly missed friends!

I love spring! Even though its windy as hell today, I am still enjoying the sun!

freakout.

I hate when I make plans that sound all cool, and then they don't work out. How disappointing. I may be ranting prematurely here, since I don't even know if my "plans" will actually not work out, but I'm afraid they won't, so I'm already pissed and disappointed. GGGGRRRRRRrr!

Happy St. Patty's

Note to self - NEVER buy children talking, singing, or any other noise-maing toy!

Today I got woke up early by some of Danielle's toddler cousins. Amazing how much noise such little beings can create! Especially when they jump and fall and slide and stomp all over the floor which from the basement sounds like the house is undergoing some sort of construction. Oh well. At least they're cute little guys. :)

We asked the 4 year old if he likes to play with dolls. He's like "noooo".
"Why not?"
"Because dolls are for giiiRRrrls."
"Who says?"
"everyone"...
Sometimes I think it's too bad we make some toys just for girls and others just for boys. No wonder boys and girls have such a hard time playing together. We tell them they can't play with the same type of toys... Maybe we should teach our boys to play with dolls as well as their trucks and show the girls how to play with trucks as well as their dolls.
But then, will it really make a difference? and is it really such a big deal? I'm not even sure I care that much. Perhaps I'm bored. Neal's right. We should go do something. Or at least play games. Dutch blitz anyone?

After a 17hr drive, I'm in Ontario. :) St. Catharines to be exact. Very nice. Fairly warm. Yesterday we hit the bank for some colorful money, then the dutch store, drug store, and liquor store to spend our colorful money. Today we shall hit the thrift stores. Tomorrow church. Monday Toronto, and perhaps Tuesday or Wednesday we'll go to Niagara Falls.
It's good to get away.

ik moet slapen!

p.s.

In all those "muddlings" of mine, I wasn't depressed or even necessarily down on myself. Just trying to be better. By the end of the drive I actually felt happy and hopeful!

Yesterday I went with Hope Haven on an outing to Spencer. We had a 15 passenger van, COMPLETELY full so our driver never went more than 50 mph. I sat in the back and just about all the clients fell asleep, so I just looked out the window and thought. I haven't had time to just think in a while, so I had plenty to think about.

I thought about my fundamentals class and how I've realized through some self-reflection assignments that I am pretty lazy. I think about stuff - how I wish the world were different, how I wish I were different, how I wish some of my relationships were different, etc.. - but I rarely do much about it. So I thought about what I could do to at least change me and improve relationships.

I thought about how selfish I am and how much I focus on myself and talk about myself. I wondered how on earth I could get myself to remember to forget myself and to focus on other people. People think about themselves by default, but thinking about other people first and remembering to be truly kind and generous and selfless takes effort. You have to be intentional about it. You have to remember to be intentional about it, at least until you've done it so much it becomes a habit. So how can I remember? Tie a string on my finger?

I thought about how I love hearing people who understand music talking about music because I keep hoping some of that knowledge and understanding will rub off on me. I love music, but have a hard time talking about it. Sometimes I want to just sit down and listen to it. REALLY listen to it! I want to spend a weekend in some isolated cabin where I can spend the time researching the story of the musicians, listening to the lyrics of the musicians, and getting to know the music. Then I had a moment of shame. Here I am wishing I could spend hours and hours listening, studying, and getting to know good musicians and their music, but when have I desired to spend a weekend reading and studying my Bible to get to know God? How lame.

I thought about how I don't slow down enough. I don't take walks and enjoy the beauty around me enough. I don't find pictures in the clouds, or make angels in the snow, or sing out loud enough. I should get my bike out of storage.

I thought about other things too, but those I'll save for myself. (Not to be selfish.)

sometimes life's okay.

Last night turned out to be one of the most fun nights I've had in a while! I don't know what made it so different.. maybe it was the fact that it was not planned, or the fact that it wasn't dragged out too long, or that I hung out with some of my favorite people, or that my homework was done and I could just go out and have fun without feeling bad about it... Whatever the reason, I had a great night! Went to docs, had some coke and rum, talked with some good friends, saw Bekah Oudman again, ducked out early with a bit of a buzz and a high spirit, went to Alvin and Dan's for the first time, had banana-boat disguised as some kind of tropical rum, played rook and actually won, and went home still buzzed but not over-the-top. However, my apologies to anyone who had to put up with me those last couple hours... I may have been a little over-jolly.

one month until the best "holiday" of the year - April Fools!! Yeah, baby, yeah! We should go big this year.