p.s. I like pastor Herm.

Today in church someone made a comment about being able to see God in even the smallest details of life. I've always considered myself to be fairly trusting. My parents have this increadible trust in God, which has been sort of contagious and I have picked up on some of it. I never worry about being fed or clothed or sheltered. But for some reason the first thing that popped into my head when that comment was made was "where the hell is God now when my family needs him!" and then instantly I was ashamed. Is that how I really feel? Have I only been suppressing the fears I have, using blind faith as a cover just to hold me over, while becoming angry and bitter inside that things haven't started getting better yet?

oh dicky.

(I know its not tuesday anymore, but whatever.)

60 minutes

I don't usually get up at 8, but today I did. I have an "interview" (not really, but we gotta dress like it) in Intro to Psych so I need extra time to get ready. Intro isn't till 10 though. Health psych is at 9. So I get ready. Then I see it's only 8:40 so I got some extra time. Why not check my email? So I do. and what do I see? an email from Christians telling me Health psych is cancelled and I could have slept another hour! SHIT. but I suppose I should be thankful that I actually got the email and didn't walk all the way to class. But now that I'm all dressed up, I can't go back to sleep. That would be useless anyhow. So I've got this hour to do whatever I want... physics, reading, learning a new language...

Highlights of the week

1. Watching the movie Saw on valentines day.

2. Trying on a million clothes at the costume shop to find a warm dress to wear out.

3. Finding nothing and wearing a sexy, red, knee-length dress out to dinner instead on the coldest night of the week.

4. Eating at the Intermission in Rock Rapids.

5. Getting Walhof to pay for my meal. :)

6. Hanging out with my, uh, special friend (?)

7. Becca coming for the weekend.

8. Comedy League

9. Hanging out with my peoples at my sister's house.

10. I'm not telling what ten is... :)

11. Ice skating

12. Going to Hendersons for dinner and being surrounded by intelligent people I've come to care about a great deal!

13. Wearing PJ's to coffee hour.

this is the good life

I just found out that a good friend of mine from Mexico died a month ago in a car accident. Hearing that gave me the weirdest feeling. At first it was like words with no meaning. Like, "oh, Papas died. I should be sad right now." But I feel so distant from it all, so removed that it doesn't feel real. Then I felt worse for not feeling anything than I felt about his passing. This is supposed to be sad, so why am I not crying? Then I did cry, and I'm not sure if it was from the thought of never seeing him again, or the fact that he more than likely died without knowing God, or that the memories the whole thing brought up made me miss Mexico all over again, or if I was just angry that I didn't know sooner, or maybe just struck by the harsh reality that we ARE so disconnected from so many people I care about, which is part of the reason I didn't find out sooner. I just want to go back to Mexico. And I want everyone to be there. And I want things to be like they were. I want to be in my friends' lives again.
and I don't want to lose the people I care about now. How many more times do I have to say goodbye?

Hi you.

This is nice. I have a blog. and I can write what I want right now cuz no one knows about it! :)