Feliz Navidad!

We did our gift exchange tonight. Kayla got Amanda a movie, still in it's plastic wrap. As Amanda was working the stupid stickers, trying to open it, Kayla piped up all nonchalantly "oh, you have to return it by Friday." I did not know 8 year olds could be so funny. Though it may have been a had-to-be-there moment.
I love my sisters.

I hope you're enjoying the holiday!

Peace be the journey.

Today's escapade consisted of visiting the Hueco Tanks. This place does not sound like much, but it was like a massive playground to me. Huge boulders everywhere! Apparently Hueco Tanks is among the top three locations for bouldering in the world. People come from all over Europe to climb the rocks, especially in the winter, because the summer is untollerably hot. So they limit the number of people allowed up there at a time to 70 to control erosion.
We were not early enough to be allowed on the north boudler. Instead we got a tour guide to show us the rock art and we just snuck in a few climbs here and there to satisfy our desire to play. I wanna go back!

enjoy the snow, suckuhs!

El Paso has had a warmer than average week for this time of year. 60 degrees all week almost. It's wonderful. I've been wearing sleeveless shirts and skirts while locals are wearing sweaters and jackets.

Yesterday we went hiking in an area not particularly meant for such activities. We climbed for over an hour, dodging thorn bushes, scaling rocks, catching ourselves after slipping on loose ground, and stopping occasionally to pick out a cactus needle or two. Yolanda fell off a cliff, scaring me half to death. Fortunately she fell onto a flat surface, but unfortunately also onto a cactus on that flat surface. Today her hands were so swollen and sore I had to help her dress.

After church today we went to Mesillas, NM. Most of it was unimpressive, but there was a sweet little winery. Amanda, Luuk, Mom, and I did a little 4-dollar/4-wine tasting. The wine was good, the atmosphere was Bean-like. But best of all were the owners - a newly wedded couple in their late 40's or so. The man looked just like the Big Lebowski narrator - cowboy hat, big grey mustache, friendly, laid back, but masculine. :) His wife was also laid back, friendly, and hospitable. Together they were one of those couples you know were made for each other!

It's good to be here.

Something about solitude.

I had been joking around about staying in Sioux Center an extra day or two on the pretext of bad weather.
And I should have.
We hit a blizzard and had to pull over for over half an hour after driving in bad conditions for a few hours. But after a bit the storm passed and the roads were cleared and off we went again. We got into the springs two and a half hours later than expected, but safe and sound.
Yesterday, however, was a significant improvement. Better company (as in no company), better music (as in only my music), better weather (as in windows down instead of heater on), and better scenery! Mom's bus got delayed so much, she just stayed home, so I drove the whole 9hrs by myself. I loved every minute of it.

To anyone driving through New Mexico, you gotta listen to Modest Mouse. And Highway 61 Revisited.

Some late photos. of things...

We had a dog for a day. Her name is Ruby. She's a pheasant hunter.
The rest is from the super awesome hat party!!

try to remember always to have a good time

Someone called me a redhead today. It caught me off-guard. Though I have had red hair for a week now, being a redhead never crossed my mind. Funny how labels are.

It might snow tonight. Seems fitting, I suppose. It is November. And it's been a gloomy sort of week for me. I like when the weather matches my mood. This morning I awoke to the wonderful sense of clean, brisk air. I was going to say smell of clean, brisk air, but I don't think clean air has a smell. Anyhow, it pleased me.

everything and nothing

So, the election is finally over. But that's all I am going to say about that because this will be talked about enough on everyone's blog and in person and in class...

I hate having to make big decisions. Even more I hate when those decisions are about my life. What grad schools should I apply to? And should I apply for next fall or the one after? If I wait a year and a half, instead of just a half, what should I do with that extra year? I don't even want to write about this. So never mind.

More and more I'm liking the idea of being done with school. At least with this part of school. The bachelor's part...

I miss Mexico.

My Favorite Things (the new version)

Cuddles on couches while feeding addictions;
Bright copper pennies and unwary victims;
The incessant giggling that drinking brings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream-colored icing on orange carrot cake;
Doorbells pushed in just to keep Dane awake;
Wild friends who rock to the mood on their rings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

Popcorn in whiskey and hearts on wine glasses;
Touch Westra's foot just to see how it thrashes;
Old beat up couches that show off their springs;
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the test bites,
When the Bean's closed,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

We should wear hats more often.

I went to the bathroom at work today and upon sitting down it was brought to my attention that one of the guys forgot to lift the seat up. GROSS!!! You feel me, girls? Luckily they have a stash of disinfectant wipes in there.

sweet home

I'm all moved into the brick house. Today I finished my post card collage and now my room feels more like my room. It's taken a little while though. It seems as people moved in and out of the house they all left things behind that have never been claimed or used so everything just accumulates. I had to empty out my closet before moving in and found remnants of every person who once occupied that room from Walhof to Amanda... The kitchen is the same way. Dee and I cleaned out cupboards and refrigerator and threw out a ton of expired and disgusting stuff! The guys did pick up before Dee and I came, which was awesome! But the house does not appear to have been cleaned for quite some time, so Dee and I are slowly working our way through the house with the vacuum, duster, and dishrag.
Thursday I cleaned the bathroom, or some of it because it turned out to be too big a task for one day. I found some mildew cleaner in a closet and used it on the ceiling and walls. It worked wonderfully, so I used it generously all over the shower and tub, which I must say look much better now. However, the main ingredient was bleach and after spending over an hour bleaching the shit out of the bathroom I got a bloody nose. That put the kabosh on cleaning for the day. I still have to clean the toilet, sink, and floor. I think I'll use the more friendly all-purpose cleaner this time...

Oh kindred spirit!

I saw Ann yesterday in Toronto. We cooked some rice and stirfry for supper and Ann was extremely proud of the fact that most of the stirfry consisted of veggies from her very own garden! It was delicious. We had her homemade wine as well, which was the best I've ever tasted, and she let me try some of her local Toronto beer. What a great day! I took the bus home. There's something about bus, train, and subway rides that I love. On one hand it makes me feel independant and like I can do anything. On the other hand, I like how it makes me feel very small in a huge world. So many people on them that I don't know. Everyone going to their own little place... But mostly I like the solitude. I find these rides, though someone noisy in a way, to be very peaceful and they quiet my spirits. For that hour or hour and a half, all I can do is sit and let the bus take me where it's going. I don't have to concentrate on driving, or what someone is saying, or what I am doing. Just sit. And read Emma and listen to Modest Mouse, Radiohead, or the Flaming Lips.

I helped with VBS today. Kids can be so exhausting! My aunt broke her ankle so today I had to be her feet, as she put it. I also got a rug burn on my ankle from getting thrown out of the synagogue in one of the skits. But at the end of the day at least the kids had fun. Two more market days and then I'm done. :) I leave Saturday for GR and then Monday for Dordt. It just can't come soon enough!

bits of tid.

I went to St. Catharines straight from the Saturday market and hung out with Dee for the weekend. It was her birthday and she threw a great party which would have been even greater if it had not gotten rained out... But though the beach bonfire didn't work out, the barn dance, face paint, and hacky sack still made my weekend. To be honest, though, I think Dee coulda thrown the suckiest party and I still would have been happy just to be away for a bit and hanging out with a Dordter or two. Now I feel refreshed enough to last the next couple of weeks here before school starts!

I am pretty well into my "leaving" mode, where all I can think about is where I'm going, I should start packing, what do I have to do before I leave, and all that. It's making me antsy!

I brought my little brother Clayton to the greyhound station on Thursday. While standing in line just before he got on the bus, a great friend told me about the greyhound incident from the week before. Shit. Thanks Ann! But he made it safe. At least that's what I'm assuming since I haven't heard any different.

I'm going to bed. I have to be up at 4am tomorrow. (Only 5 more markets for me!!)

china tomare

Mom heard about the rusty nail incident and asked when my last tetanus shot was. Last one I had on record was my DPT in 1991. Mom said I should get another. I said "mooom..." Mom insisted I was due for one anyway, so this would be a good excuse. Why not get one? I said because I don't have insurance and these things aren't free. I can get one in Sioux Center for cheaper. So Mom pulled her trump card - "honor your mother and get one NOW!" and Dad in the background said "GET A TETANUS SHOT" and Dad's not one to worry, so if he deems it neccessary, it must be a good idea.
So off to the clinic I go, grumbling to myself the whole way. The receptionist at the clinic suggested since I have no insurance that I should try the hospital because they cannot refuse patients. She thought it would be free there. So I went there but found out for non-Ontario-residents it costs $250 just to be seen and the doctor's bill is on top of that. F--- that! so I went back to the clinic, paid my 60 bucks and got the needle. Before I left I handed the doc my medical record so he could write it on there. He opened it up and as he was about to write said "oh, look. It says right here you got one in 2004." I said where? And he pointed to something that said "dt 2004". SHIT! I knew what the DPT was that I got in 91 but had no idea what the DT was so I just didn't recognize it!
So I went back home and kept that little bit of information to myself, too embarrassed to admit that I just paid 60 bucks for something I didn't even need and I could blame nobody but my own stupid self for it! GRrrrrrr!!

But at least I got my ice cream. (Amanda knows what I'm talking about.)

good day

At work yesterday a broken board from a broken skid jumped out at me from behind some boxes and the rusty nails in it cut me in the face! Now I shall have a scar (maybe), but at least it is in my smile crease (as in if I had a mustache, it would be on the very edge of it), so it shouldn't matter.
I am attempting to solve a 4 X 4 rubiks cube. :) it is difficult, but possible.
But now I am off to play settlers. So cheers!

and the count-down begins!

One more month and I'm done. 11 or 12 more market days. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

I may or may not see Dee in two weeks as well. Here's to that!

But on the down side, my little bro leaves in a week and a half. I'll miss him. He was my buddy when we were youngsters and I've been spoiled having my buddy here all summer. But alas, all good things must come to an end, or so someone said.

A few weeks ago I was watering plants at my boss's (boss'?) house when I saw a fly on the wall of the house. Right behind it was a little jumping spider, smaller than the fly. The spider slowly walked up behind the fly and I expected the fly to fly away. But it didn't. And a moment later the spider pounced on it and would it up! It was amazing!!!

One month to go.

I don`t know how I`m even still functioning right now after getting up at 3am for two days in a row, working hard all day in the hot humid air, swimming for half an hour, getting no nap, and then working outside with Uncle Oho when I got home! Now it is after 10pm and I still haven`t showered! Yikes! At least I get to `sleep in`tomorrow.
I went for a bike ride today too. To the LCBO. Liquor store. :) I introduced Aunt Anna Marie to the world of Gallo.

Uncle Oho then introduced me to the world of big table saws which I used to cut up the leftover wood he had from a bed he just made to use for firewood in the winter. Neato! I love using that thing, it's impressive. :)

I shaved off a good corner of my pointer fingernail while peeling potatoes for my boss. It didn`t hurt, but the looks of it creep me out. Things with fingernails are always creepy, like chalkboards and nails, or hang nails, or cutting them too short... But now a whole corner is missing. Where there is supposed to be nail there is now only flesh! yugh!

Anyway, I have to shower and get this woody dust and stain off me! Then hopefully I can sleep without getting woke up again by people walking around upstairs.

You know, summer`s been great, but I`m pretty ready to be back at Dordt now so I can hang out with everyone again.

happy canada day-after

The market today was uneventful. We sold some things, packed up, and left. I rode bitch in the beastie van between two other girls from the market, a community bag of cherries in my lap and windows rolled down so we could spit out our pits. At a red light we were all laughing hysterically at our driver's failed attempts to spit her cherry pits out the window and then we noticed a lady in an SUV to our left with her windows down. We offered her some cherries, but she was eating crackers and politely declined. So we drove on and continued to eat our cherries and laugh at Justina who also continued to spit out more cherry juice than pits... Then the nice lady from the SUV pulled up beside us and started saying something to us. Maybe she wanted some cherries afterall? Or maybe our hazards were on again?
"What?" we yelled.
"I said, if you get any cherry pits in my car I'ma kill you. All three of you!"
"Oh, ok" said our driver who didn't hear what she said.
The other two of us were just trying to contain our laughter! WTF? Some people are just funny.
But that's one more thing I can scratch off my bucket list. I've now officially been threatened by someone being serious. :)

aah, the weekend!

mmm... the neighbors are smoking pot in their backyard and it is wafting through the open window in this room I'm writing in. Reminds me of Amsterdam.
I have so many things on my "to do" list that never seem to get done. Partly because I don't have much free time and partly because some of those things are the types of things that never end, like reading, or writing letters to friends... no matter how many letters I write, there are still more and when I finish one book, there's another. Today I'm adding to it something that can be finished though - knitting my cousin a scarf. She is in Australia, so it's winter and I must finish this quickly and send it so she can wear it before the winter is over. I love knitting!
Earlier this summer I helped dig out, lay gravel, remove gravel, remove sticks, etc.. in preparation for the pool my boss put in at his house. Then I helped build a pool deck with my uncle at the same house. I also helped level off a patch of dirt in my boss' yard and plant seed in the leveled dirt. Now I've been swimming in the pool, drying off in the sun on the new deck, and last time I was there, the grass had sprouted and was almost 2" long. There's something fulfilling about seeing hard work pay off!

So here's to a happy ending!

After church yesterday, I went to Canada's Wonderland, a theme park near Toronto I think? It was nice and sunny when we got there, but about ten steps into the park, a nice big cloud crept in front of the sun. We got in line for our first ride. The line was long, it is the first weekend since school got out. We slowly advanced, but got only about a third of the way before all rides were "temporarily shutdown" due to lightning. We stayed in line anyway, hoping the thunderstorm would pass as quickly as it came. Then the cold rain came and many people started leaving to seek shelter, while we braver souls worked our way closer to the front of the line laughing at those leaving for punking out - who can't handle a little rain? - while at the same time trying to squeeze the seven of us under the only two towels we brought in some lame attempt to keep dry. Two hours later when we could no longer feel our hands or feet, we finally admitted defeat and deserted not only the line, but the whole park to hit up a Wendy's/Tim Hortons for food and coffee. Half an hour later we were all warmed up and there was talk of going to Turtle's place so the boys could play Halo (UGH!!). How absolutely miserable to drive 45 min, pay 35 dollars, and stand in the rain for 2 hours only to go home after not having been on a single ride!!
But just then the sun came out, the rain had already stopped and we looked over at the park and saw some rides going again! So we went back to the park, got in with our stamped hands and spent the next 4 and a half hours enjoying the sunshine and many rides with the shortest lines ever because so many people left and never went back! :) When I went to bed last night, every time I closed my eyes I had the sensation that I was still on a roller coaster. The smoothest and longest and most fun one yet!

Now here's the sun, it's alright

I planted my first flower a couple weeks ago. And my second, and third, and hundred-and-whatever-eth. :) I enjoyed it. In the process I got my first mosquito bite of the year. And my first sunburn.
I have started my market job. It starts off slow, though. I didn't really think about that part of it, but it makes sense. But unfortunately I haven't made as much money as I expected because instead of working five full days a week I've only been working two full days and three half days until this week which is now three and two the other way. Plus, the Thursday market didn't pan out, so we're down to three now. I think I will try to get a part-time job for Mon/Tues/Thurs.

The job is good though. My boss is a very generous man. I could learn a lot from him. So far I've had to be at his house by 4 am some days, 5 am other days, and 8.30 other days. :) I've learned how to set up and pack up the tents and tables, etc. which is my least favorite part, but I love the part where we sell things and I've been learning a lot about the produce - How to pick a cantelope, how to pick rhubarb, how to cook rhubarb, which tomatoes are juicier, which tomatoes are sweetest, which onions are sweetest, where everything comes from, how to take care of bagonias, how to spell bagonias, and that bagonias taste like granny-smith apples. :) The list goes on, but bottom line, I like this job. By the end of the week, though I'm usually pretty exhausted from the early mornings and being on my feet walking and talking and carrying things all day! I love being exhausted. It's a good feeling knowing you're working hard!

More and more I'm thinking I need to be in a line of work that involves physical activity and immediate progress, perhaps something hands on. I'm not so sure about physical therapy. But just cuz I study it doesn't mean I have to work in that field forever. Or ever. So I'll probably still study it and just see what comes after.

I hope you're all enjoying the summer.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE DORDT PROMPT OFF!! ANYONE???

17 May

I'm in Ontario now. New Market. I might see Dee this weekend, if I can work something out transportation wise.
I just saw Prince Caspian last night. It was better than the first of the series, in my opinion. But I also like the book of Prince Caspian better than The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Anyway, I also got roped into going to a Hillside concert (I'm not sure when that is).
I've been reading All Quiet on the Westsern Front. Yikes! I found it, along with several other books I want to read, in a box of books Amanda left by accident in the brick house. Or I left? Anyway, it's hers, but I'm borrowing it. And you don't get a choice, Amanda! So when I finish that, and the others, I'll send those to you as well. (I found my Pride and Prejudice book in there as well, but I already bought a new one so you can have it.) I like reading. I don't do enough of it at Dordt. So hopefully this summer I can cut into my list a bit.
Juno is on tv. Going to watch.
TTFN

Happy Mother's Day

I just got the Dordt sign in thing on my own blog. Strange. How do I make it stop??

I forgot how long a drive can seem when you don't have control over the radio... and when Mom does. I forgot how much Mom likes her radio talk shows and AM stations and Christian contemporary music. I forgot how much little girls fight. I forgot the stupid things they fight about! I forgot how patient Dad is and how generous both Mom and Dad are.
It's good to be back with family. :)

How's Sioux Center? and everywhere else?

doin just fine

Two wonderful concerts.
Five new cds, including the Cotton Bonnets' (aka the Peasants) new EP, which you should all get!!
Good stuff.
Great weekend. :)

blonde moments...

Monday I misunderstood my prof about the contents of our next quiz. I relayed this wrong info to Skip. Oops.
I forgot my 11am class was canceled today so I went anyway. Shoot.
I skipped math on Monday so I didn't know everything that was on our noon test today. Shit.
I got out of my math test a few minutes late and ran to the Bean hoping no one was waiting. No one came in for the first half hour. Then Shaftstall came in, made himself comfortable, a little small talk, and then he said "Carmela, don't you guys open at 2?"
- "yes".
- "it's 1.40."
- "Shit! I'm supposed to be in class right now!" - Oh well.

don't worry

49mph winds + sun = feels like the beach! I love it and yet it makes me nostalgic. I miss the ocean sometimes. Amanda, you know that place in Cancun where Mom and Dad would bring us to play on the beach but we weren't usually allowed in the water because it was too rough and had an undertow? I want to go there again and walk on the beach and keep walking until the end of the Zona Hotelera.
Today was a good day. I went for a walk, hung out on the grass with Skip and Alex listening to Radiohead, and later I played hacky sack with a bunch of okay people. ;)
Today Dordt had a cultural fair. Great food. Fun dancing. Even some reggae, thanks to Ephron.
Going to bed soon. Sleep tight.

It's not going to stop

Yesterday a good friend of mine was overwhelmed by the brokenness of our world. Very much so. And I can relate somewhat. I've had days like that where I'll see pain, broken hearts, broken souls, broken relationships, corrupted politics, corrupted churches, money-greedy business, money-greedy institutions, money-greedy schools, polluted air, polluted water, polluted earth, overused earth, abused nature, hunger, sickness, death. It really is overwhelming. It really does make me want to cry. I want to mourn the loss of the perfection in God's creation; the loss of what was good.
I think it's okay to feel that from time to time. It is good. If we were happy with how things are, we wouldn't try so hard to make it better. If we were content with the world as it is now, we wouldn't eagerly anticipate Christ's next coming. Sometimes we need to see how broken the world is to move us to action. It's like a big kick in the ass. We just need to be careful to not let this despair take over and cause us to give up.
We need to keep our eyes open to see the good that is still around us. There are people caring for each other - lending you their class notes when you skip, stopping and waiting so they can open the door for you, sharing their hooka, carrying things for you because their bike has a basket and yours doesn't, buying you tacos, giving you granola, getting up super early to see you off... There are people caring for the environment - biking, not littering, using natural products, recycling, reusing, composting, gardening... There is so much love and beauty all around us in creation - flowers growing, trees budding, birds singing, the sun shining - in art - music, films, photos...(an endless list!) - and in creatures, including human beings - children laughing, giggling, crying, hugging... Not everything is corrupt and hopeless. Even in all this brokenness there is good!
I don't really know where I'm going with this. I guess I just want to say that I can relate to your overwhelming feelings, my friend, and though I'm sorry it hurts so much, I think you see the beauty and love and hope too.

what do I know?

Laura slapped me in the face today. I was asking for it.
I just listened to Wilco's "The lonely 1" and once again really enjoyed it.

Some things I've been wondering as of always...
Some things are better left unsaid, right?. But some aren't, so how does one tell the difference?
Some things are best not talked about. But some aren't. Same question.
I hold a lot of things in (may not seem like it because I talk a lot). Maybe I shouldn't. But how do I know... And then there's other things I probably shouldn't say, but I do. It bugs me. Trying to find this balance between talking too much and talking to little, or sharing too much and sharing too little. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But maybe not. How do I know.

It might snow tomorrow.

and some pictures

Finally got my pictures off the camera. :)
Not sure what they're all about though... seriously.








Phil and his best buys!








And pre-80's Dance!! Heck ya, I went!!

school free month.

For some reason I've lately become annoyed with how whenever people ask how I am or what I've been up to, all I ever talk about is school and work. Mostly school. And assignments. And how busy I am... I give almost a run-through of everything I have to do like it's so much different, worse, harder, or busier than what everyone else has to do. It's not. And it's starting to bore me. I know it makes sense to talk about what you spend most of your time doing, but I really hope I do more, or see more, or experience more than just school and work while I'm here. And I'm tired of all my conversations being the same. So for the month of April I am going to try to not blog (or email) about school or work (at least not schedule-wise, but mostly just in general) and see what else there is to write about. And as for conversations, maybe you all could slap me in the face if I speak about how busy and stressful my schedule is. :) That oughta teach me!

idk

Often when people find out I speak Spanish, one of the first things they say or ask has to do with Spanish swear words. Are they really that much more interesting or bad-ass than English swears? Whats the deal?

I came back from spring break to a nicely warming up Sioux Center. I love spring. Trees budding, birds singing, squirrels scampering, people actually hanging out outside instead of retreating to the indoors all the time, and there's always an extra "bounce" in the air around spring. People seem happier. Then yesterday we had some rain and the rain turned into the wettest snow I've ever seen in my life! I stood out in it for a few minutes with Laura to make snow balls and romp around, but my shoes got soaked and my coat was getting wet too, so I went back indoors. Probably (hopefully) by tomorrow it will all be gone again and back to spring? I'm through with winter. But then, who isn't?

La Fiesta is closing this weekend.

uh oh.

Last night I was hanging out in the Bean. Hanging out. No homework. Or so I thought.
Today I get an email about a zoology lab study session. "Study session? Whatever for?" I ask myself. So I write back and ask. Turns out Mahaffy sent an email yesterday or the day before maybe about a lab quiz we are having tomorrow. I never got the email! So there I was wasting my time last night when I could/should have been studying for the lab quiz!!! *GASP*

mmmmmilk

I figured out how to change the blog the way I want. :) hooray.
Anyway, all in all, break was great. My companions were fun; good sports. I felt like I could relax, be myself, and enjoy time. I got back to Dordt around 6.15 yesterday morning, went straight to bed, and woke up around 1pm. :) I was the first home and had the whole afternoon to myself! In the evening I got some groceries shopped - HyVee now sells milk from Nebraska in glass bottles. You can return the bottles when you buy your next half gallon and get a bit of a refund. So though it costs over a dollar more, I feel like its at least creating less garbage. And really, I don't drink that much milk, so whats one more dollar? Anyway, I got my math homework done last night and went to Tofhers with some greatly missed friends!

I love spring! Even though its windy as hell today, I am still enjoying the sun!

freakout.

I hate when I make plans that sound all cool, and then they don't work out. How disappointing. I may be ranting prematurely here, since I don't even know if my "plans" will actually not work out, but I'm afraid they won't, so I'm already pissed and disappointed. GGGGRRRRRRrr!

Happy St. Patty's

Note to self - NEVER buy children talking, singing, or any other noise-maing toy!

Today I got woke up early by some of Danielle's toddler cousins. Amazing how much noise such little beings can create! Especially when they jump and fall and slide and stomp all over the floor which from the basement sounds like the house is undergoing some sort of construction. Oh well. At least they're cute little guys. :)

We asked the 4 year old if he likes to play with dolls. He's like "noooo".
"Why not?"
"Because dolls are for giiiRRrrls."
"Who says?"
"everyone"...
Sometimes I think it's too bad we make some toys just for girls and others just for boys. No wonder boys and girls have such a hard time playing together. We tell them they can't play with the same type of toys... Maybe we should teach our boys to play with dolls as well as their trucks and show the girls how to play with trucks as well as their dolls.
But then, will it really make a difference? and is it really such a big deal? I'm not even sure I care that much. Perhaps I'm bored. Neal's right. We should go do something. Or at least play games. Dutch blitz anyone?

After a 17hr drive, I'm in Ontario. :) St. Catharines to be exact. Very nice. Fairly warm. Yesterday we hit the bank for some colorful money, then the dutch store, drug store, and liquor store to spend our colorful money. Today we shall hit the thrift stores. Tomorrow church. Monday Toronto, and perhaps Tuesday or Wednesday we'll go to Niagara Falls.
It's good to get away.

ik moet slapen!

p.s.

In all those "muddlings" of mine, I wasn't depressed or even necessarily down on myself. Just trying to be better. By the end of the drive I actually felt happy and hopeful!

Yesterday I went with Hope Haven on an outing to Spencer. We had a 15 passenger van, COMPLETELY full so our driver never went more than 50 mph. I sat in the back and just about all the clients fell asleep, so I just looked out the window and thought. I haven't had time to just think in a while, so I had plenty to think about.

I thought about my fundamentals class and how I've realized through some self-reflection assignments that I am pretty lazy. I think about stuff - how I wish the world were different, how I wish I were different, how I wish some of my relationships were different, etc.. - but I rarely do much about it. So I thought about what I could do to at least change me and improve relationships.

I thought about how selfish I am and how much I focus on myself and talk about myself. I wondered how on earth I could get myself to remember to forget myself and to focus on other people. People think about themselves by default, but thinking about other people first and remembering to be truly kind and generous and selfless takes effort. You have to be intentional about it. You have to remember to be intentional about it, at least until you've done it so much it becomes a habit. So how can I remember? Tie a string on my finger?

I thought about how I love hearing people who understand music talking about music because I keep hoping some of that knowledge and understanding will rub off on me. I love music, but have a hard time talking about it. Sometimes I want to just sit down and listen to it. REALLY listen to it! I want to spend a weekend in some isolated cabin where I can spend the time researching the story of the musicians, listening to the lyrics of the musicians, and getting to know the music. Then I had a moment of shame. Here I am wishing I could spend hours and hours listening, studying, and getting to know good musicians and their music, but when have I desired to spend a weekend reading and studying my Bible to get to know God? How lame.

I thought about how I don't slow down enough. I don't take walks and enjoy the beauty around me enough. I don't find pictures in the clouds, or make angels in the snow, or sing out loud enough. I should get my bike out of storage.

I thought about other things too, but those I'll save for myself. (Not to be selfish.)

sometimes life's okay.

Last night turned out to be one of the most fun nights I've had in a while! I don't know what made it so different.. maybe it was the fact that it was not planned, or the fact that it wasn't dragged out too long, or that I hung out with some of my favorite people, or that my homework was done and I could just go out and have fun without feeling bad about it... Whatever the reason, I had a great night! Went to docs, had some coke and rum, talked with some good friends, saw Bekah Oudman again, ducked out early with a bit of a buzz and a high spirit, went to Alvin and Dan's for the first time, had banana-boat disguised as some kind of tropical rum, played rook and actually won, and went home still buzzed but not over-the-top. However, my apologies to anyone who had to put up with me those last couple hours... I may have been a little over-jolly.

one month until the best "holiday" of the year - April Fools!! Yeah, baby, yeah! We should go big this year.

oh shoot.

Last night I went to Steph Bloomendaal's house to hang out. Cal Henderson was there. He had a Nerf/dart gun of sorts and was shooting everyone else with it for at least an hour straight. So finally Steph and I got out her airsoft gun and were going to go shoot him with it, but he caught wind of our idea and ran away. Baby. So I had this loaded pellet gun and sat down on the couch... and I wondered how much those things hurt anyway. So I asked. Matt said "depends how many layers you're wearing and how loose your clothes are." I looked down at my leg which I had crossed man-style and thought 'it can't be that bad. I have two layers on, one of them being jeans and the bottom of my pants are loose.' So I shot my calf. Barely felt it. I said "That didn't hurt at all!" Matt said "shoot your thigh." So I did. "That didn't- OH MY GOODNESS, THAT STINGS LIKE A MOTHER!!!"

Today I woke up with a nice little pellet-sized welt on my thigh...

laughing out loud

I hate having great stories I'm not allowed to tell. But I guess it's okay when a revised and acceptable version also exists and is entertaining enough.
Hey, let me tell you a story... there's no other version... really... :S

Prestory: setting = El Paso (big city where blondes are probably the minority)

So my Dad and Larissa (my 11 yr old sister) wanted to go play tennis, so they started biking to the park. They had to cross the street (maybe a somewhat large street?) at some point, so Larissa, who was behind my dad at the time, crossed over, but Dad didn't see. He also didn't see her ride up ahead of him on the other side of the street. So when he looked back to check on her and did not see her anywhere, he turned his bike right around and booked it home. Larissa saw him doing all this and tried to get his attention, waving her arms and screaming at him "Dad, Dad! I'm right here!" but he didn't hear her. So when he got home he burst through the door yelling "Pat! [my mom] Pat call 911! She vanished!!" Now you have to understand something - Dad is a reasonable/rational man. He is not usually the type to worry and jump to such awful conclusions so quick. Mom is. She also knows how Dad is. So if Dad says call 911, I can only imagine how Mom's heart must have jumped. She immediately got on the phone calling the police and Dad went back out to look again! Of course in the mean time Larissa had followed Dad back home, though she couldn't keep up, and Dad found her on his second search and there were probably lots of hugs and tears and sighs of relief all around, minus Larissa who just gave a sort of sheepish half-smile/shrug and said "I couldn't help it."

I know this must have been a horrible experience, especially for Mom who was really given no context as to what happened, just told to call the cops! So when Mom told me about this, I felt a bad. ...for about two seconds, and then that empathy gave way to EXTREME amusement! :) I know, I'm a horrible person and I shall rot in hell for this, but as Mom was telling me what happened, I laughed right out loud for almost a whole minute!

oh boy.

Today one of my classes got moved to the computer lab on the third floor of the campus center. I got there a bit early and decided to try to do something with my crazy mass of previously-braided-and-now-crimpy-as-hell hair, so I went to the bathroom to use the mirror. After fussing with my hair for about five minutes (a completely worthless endeavor, btw) I spotted something in the corner of the mirror. "What's that behind me? A urinal?!! crap."

Ggrrrrrrr!!!

In email received last night from "James Mahaffy":

Fellow Zoologists,

I have caught something over the weekend and don't believe I will be able to have class on Monday. Hopefully I don't have what our Brother Anton had.

We will pick up Monday's material on Wednesday.

Peace
JFM

So I thought to myself - "self, good thing I got this now and not in the morning after getting up at 7.25am. Now I can sleep in another two hours. Hooray!"

Then today, on my way to the Humble Bean, who do I see but Mahaffy! So I go up to him and smilingly say, "say, aren't you sick?" (silent pause) "Well, I'm glad you're feeling better?"
(Deadliest glare ever seen on the face of a usually jolly professor!!)
"I didn't send that email," he finally said.
"Oh." (another awkward silence)

Then *click* it dawns on me that not only was the email an elaborate hoax, but Mahaffy seems to think the silly grin on my face moments before, when I asked him about being sick, is an indication that I might be the one responsible for it. (oh boy...)

Apparently Mahaffy went to class this morning and only two people showed up for class, probably the only two who didn't check their mail last night...

Email received this afternoon from "James Mahaffy":

Folks,

Just a note to let you know that we really need to make up the lecture that was missed because someone fraudulently sent out a canceled class message.

Plan on starting the next three Zoology classes at 7:45 AM sharp.

Those f***ers!! so mature....

The good times strike again!

This weekend has been and should continue to be super awesome! I have no work this weekend, aside from the two hours of cleaning I did today, and no homework due Monday and only minimal homework for Tuesday so I've decided to take a complete break this weekend and am resolved to do absolutely no homework. Well, maybe with the minor exception of possibly looking over some zoology lab stuff for my quiz on Thursday (I'm that scared!), but otherwise this weekend is devoted purely to good times and relaxation. So yesterday a group of 12 of us girls went out to LeMaars for ice cream! Then we came home and played read my lips and some other games. Then we watched some old episodes of Gilmore Girls. And yes, I enjoyed it! In fact, last night was probably the most nonalcoholic fun I've had all school year!
Today I worked out with some of my roommates. I did squats with 45lbs on my neck and I'll probably be immobile tomorrow... but I feel quite good about myself at the moment. :)
Tonight I'm going to a special comedy leagueish even with a guest professional (?) group from Omaha, so hopefully it will be good. Afterwards there's an OJK, the Benedict Affair, and Nick Engbers concert. And after that a cake and dance party in west hall.
Then tomorrow after church I'm eating lunch with my new "host parents" from Covenant church. Then I'm watching a movie with Sara Hulstien who is awesome beyond all reason! And then I can come home to a delicious home-made meal, thanks to my roommate Sarah Sparks.
This is the kind of stuff I've been missing a lot lately! Good chillin times with good girl friends. I don't think I realized until just lately how much I miss having Amanda to go bug whenever I'm bored, or to talk to when I'm having a bad day. But I do.

Well, Alvin, I think mooching for a whole semester might get old, no matter how ridiculously good looking I am. Unless instead of smiling sweetly, I bake them brownies or something. :) Hehee. Actually, I bought a new book online for $50, correct version this time lets hope!, and while I wait for it I am just swallowing my pride and borrowing the book guys' book. And heck, I may even bake them brownies anyway as a thank you. And to get them to all fight over me. psh!

Tomorrow I have such a busy day, I wrote myself an hour by hour schedule! First time in my life I've done that and I feel like such a control freak, but I was worried I'd forget something or fall asleep somewhere or something!

One of my roommates is teaching swim lessons twice a week and she asked if she could show up early to swim laps with a friend or two. They said fine, so today I went swimming for an hour. Or maybe half hour. And then sat in the hot tub. And then walked a veeeeery cold walk home!! My hair froze.

poop.

I am taking algebra this semester. I bought the book online for $54 on Amazon. While waiting for it to arrive I had been borrowing a book from the guys who live below me. At least three of them are in my class and I know them sort of. Just names mostly. Anyway, so I feel a bit weird going down there to borrow the book, but oh well, it was only for a week, right? Any longer and they might start to get annoyed...
Anyway, Friday I got an email saying a package arrived for me. Today I picked it up and yes, it was a textbook! So I excitedly opened it and decided I would start my next assignment right away! But then, to my complete and utter dismay, I realized I bought the wrong edition. I needed the 7th, not 8th. Amazon never told me I was buying the 8th edition. It just said the year of the book and I stupidly assumed since it was new enough and professors tend to use newer editions, it must be the right one... The good news is I can most likely sell it to the book store at the end of this semester. (I may even get more for it than I paid.) The bad news is, it will cost me $81 to buy the right one in the bookstore used, IF they even have it. It's $128 new. I could look online for it, but then I'd have to borrow the guys book for another week or two. SHIT! And the worse news is, I don't even know if I have $128 right now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

I just got an issue of the Paste magazine and it came with a sample CD inside. I'm listening to it now and generally I like it. Hopefully this will broaden the scope of music known to me. I like finding new stuff. Like Sydney Wayser and Doug Burr. Granted, there's only one song from each on the CD but I like them.

School's much busier this semester. I hope I can keep up. Plus, work is a lot busier this semester. Some of it I don't care if I can keep up. Though the money is nice.

I hate forgetting stuff. When I was unpacking I realized I forgot three sweaters at Grandma's. I just bought them last semester too! How disappointing.

This weekend is looking to be pretty nice. :) I guess all in all, life is pretty good right now.

back in a flash

I'm back in Grand Rapids after a much better (perhaps the best?) flight experience.
Yesterday I hung out with Eric and Clayton. Watched a western film. While I was out it started snowing very wet slushy snow. Was slippery on the way home. We litterally came within an inch of hitting someone on East Beltline because they spun out in front of us and we almost couldn't stop. Crazy. So I, being the innexperience winter driver, decided it was best not to go home to Grandma's, so I spent the night on the couch of the dear DeJong family. Turns out it was actually more convenient anyway, because I had a dentist appointment at 8am in that area anyway, so it saved me the extra trip. :)
The dentist appointment went well. $40 for a good cleaning, flouride, and x-rays. And I was told I have great clean teeth. No cavities. Nice to hear. Now my mouth feels all funny though, and they put some strawberry flavored flouride on my teeth which is making me hungry and I salivated all the way home... gross.
Monday it's back to Dordt for me. I better buy my books. Poo.